Ruth Ozeki

At her grandmother's funeral in Japan, author Ruth Ozeki explains another Japanese custom called "honewake" or "dividing the bones, which is often practiced when a person’s family lives in different places." On her returned to the US from Japan, she brought with her some bones of her grandmother, which she was to deliver to her mother. The experience inspired her to film a documentary called "Halving the Bones."

Ozeki R. L. (2008). The Art of Losing: On Writing, Dying, & Mom. Shambhala Sun Magazine

Janine Latus

In her book, "If I am Missing or Dead", author Janine Latus describes the ash scattering memorials held for her sister Amy. One is held at an outdoor chapel at a Michigan youth camp the Latus family attended as children. There they spoke about her favorite things, sang songs, and then spread her ashes into the cattails. (Her mother and father "had divvied up the ashes". Her father buried his share at a Catholic cemetery.) The next day the family drove to Lake Michigan, another favorite spot of Amy's, where the family held their third memorial for her. Each family member walked into the water waist deep, took a handful of ashes, and let them fall into the water, before they released all the remaining ashes. The family then played some of Amy's favorite games on in the water and flew kites in her memory.

If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation

Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark reflects on a friends story after picking up her father's cremated remains in "You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning".

"A long time ago, I had a friend whose father died and was cremated. He loved two things in this world, she said: hot dogs and flying. So she put him in her carry-on, flew him to the Charlotte airport, bought a jumbo dog with mustard and relish, put his urn on the little round table, ate half the hot dog and one hour later, boarded the plane for the hourlong flight home, her daddy stowed safely back in her carry-on.

It was a great story, and walking along with the purple velvet box o' Daddy I thought I knew exactly how she felt sitting in that airport restaurant, toasting her dad with exactly one-half of a cold Bud Lite."

You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning